Category: Life

Where is your train of thought taking you?

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Have you heard someone say, I lost my train of thought? They mean that they forgot where they were going with what they started saying. I think a lot of people need desperately to lose their train of thought. Some totally need to derail the train before it derails them. Do you know what I mean? Do you know somebody like that? Or maybe that somebody is you?

There are thoughts that don’t just pass through our minds but rather seem to take possession of our thought life. For example, you hear about fluctuations in the economy and increasing unemployment, and you begin to think about what would happen if you got laid off. Then, all the reasons why you could be next go marching through your mind. Now you have gone from news to possibility to worry. You begin to have a knot of uneasy expectation in your stomach in the mornings before you even get to work. As your fear increases, you have trouble concentrating and your work suffers in consequence. When you receive a warning, anxiety and anger set up post and you really can’t work. And so it’s not long before your boss calls you to her office and tells you that you were on the bottom of the list, but your performance dropped so much in the last weeks that they must let you go. Job 3:25 says, For the thing I greatly feared has come upon me, And what I dreaded has happened to me. Your thoughts derailed you.

For the thing I greatly feared has come upon me. And what I dreaded has happened to me. (Job 3:25)

Maybe you are watching your marriage relationship fall apart and haven’t understood how much your thoughts may be causing it. Say you are feeling swamped with keeping house, cooking and the kids and you begin to think about your husband, that he doesn’t understand you or all you’re going through. One thought leads to another. and you virtually expect him just to know what you are thinking and feeling- which is pretty much an impossibility for anyone especially for a man to read a woman. Resentment builds and unfulfilled expectations confirm in your thinking that he is not going to change. From there it’s a downward spiral of discouragement and depression.

By tendency, where your mind goes, so do you. When the railroad company decided it wanted to set up transportation from New York to San Francisco, do you think they hired a bunch of men, gave them a load of tracks, and told them to start laying them out as they thought best? Of course not! They might have ended up in El Paso instead. No doubt they had an expert trace out the path needed and the obstacles to overcome. So, how about consciously setting the tracks of your thought life in the right direction.

The best way to a positive and productive life is basing it on a good relationship with God and his word. If you are ever conscious that God is with you and has the best plan possible for your life, you can live in confidence- not because everything is always as you like, but because you trust God to work all things together for your good. King David had a lot of ups and downs in his life, but through it all, God was always close to him, gave him amazing favor and blessed that which he put his hands to do. He said, I have set the Lord always before me; Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved (Psalm 16:8). So, look to God first in every situation, give him your burdens, and obey him to the letter, Remember, He knows best.

Choose God’s thoughts given us in his word to be your thoughts and the law of the land. Many times we know what the Bible says and say we believe it, but we don’t really live by it. But yet, we expect God to back us as if we did. It dosen’t work like that. James 1:22 says, But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

You lay the tracks for where you want to go and where you want to take the loved ones that are riding with you, so choose well.

We must choose faith over fear. We must choose hope over despair. We must choose love over hate and unforgiveness. You must choose. You lay the tracks for where you want to go and where you want to take the loved ones that are riding with you, so choose well. God’s word is the best guarantee we can have.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts. “For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, That it may give seed to the sower And bread to the eater, So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. So, start putting the train of your thoughts on God’s thoughts today.

Tu eres el portero

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En las películas, se ven con mucha frecuencia escenas en las cuales los protagonistas quieren entrar a algún club pero deben pasar por un fortachón que está en la puerta revisando las identificaciones o invitaciones, que sin ellas no mas no entran. Ese es un portero. No vayamos tan lejos. Hoy casi no puedes ni entrar a un supermercado o restaurante sin ser detenido por un empleado que exige tomarte tu temperatura, que lleves cubre bocas y que te eches gel antibacterial- todo con el fin de que no entre virus a su establecimiento. Ese es un portero.

Tu mente es una puerta a tu alma y tú eres el portero. Aunque hay muchas cosas en la vida que no puedes controlar, Dios te ha dado la capacidad de abrir y cerrar la puerta a tu mente, de escoger en qué vas a pensar. Tú eres el portero y tienes que aprender a examinar y filtrar lo que estará en la meditación de tu mente.

En general, empezamos a aprender como pensar desde que entramos a este mundo o aun antes. Mientras nos enseñan a comer, hablar y vivir por nuestra cuenta, vamos adoptando ciertos sistemas de pensamiento y modos de hacer las cosas y conducirnos. Algunos son buenos, algunos muy buenos y otros no tan buenos. Algunos son contrarios al pensamiento de Dios y algunos de plano te están hundiendo. Hay patrones de pensamiento que nos pueden parecer muy naturales pero no por eso son buenos. Proverbios 14:12 dice, Hay camino que al hombre le parece derecho; pero su fin es camino de muerte.

Algunos pensamientos son buenos, otros muy buenos y otros no tan buenos. Algunos son contrarios al pensamiento de Dios y algunos de plano te están hundiendo.

Muchas personas creen que todo pensamiento en su cabeza es suyo propio y no hacen nada para cernir sus pensamientos. Como resultado, el diablo puede manipular su vida e influir en sus emociones (las emociones siguen los pensamientos). Si el temor, la ansiedad, la soledad, la desesperanza, la depresión u otras emociones negativas son parte regular de tu vida, has permitido la entrada a pensamientos que las alimentan y fortalecen mientras a ti te hunde. Es muy fácil que esto suceda porque el enemigo puede ser tan sutil. Permiteme ilustrarles.

En una ocasión, Jesús les preguntó a sus discípulos, quién dicen los hombres que soy. Y luego les preguntó, quien decían ellos que era. Pedro, por la revelación del Padre, tuvo la respuesta correcta, Tú eres el Cristo, el Hijo del Dios viviente. (Mt. 16:13-17) Dios le reveló algo a Pedro, lo oyó y lo dijo. Jesús discernió la fuente, que aunque Pedro lo había dicho, venía del Padre, no de carne y sangre.

Unos momentos después, cuando Jesús había explicado que debía sufrir, que lo mataren, y resucitare, Pedro empezó a reprenderlo y dijo, en ninguna manera esto te acontezca. De nuevo, Pedro oyó algo y lo dijo pero era el susurro de Satanás, la mentira de Satanás, el pensamiento de Satanás, porque Satanás no quería que Jesús efectuara la redención para la humanidad. Satanás lanzó su pensamiento a la mente de Pedro y Pedro le hizo eco en voz alta. De nuevo, Jesús discernió la fuente, aunque Pedro lo dijo, y se dirigió al mismo Satanás. Quítate de delante de mí, Satanás; me eres tropiezo, porque no pones la mira en las cosas de Dios, sino en las de los hombres. Lo que Pedro dijo estaba de acuerdo con sus emociones, el cariño que tenía para Jesús, y el razonamiento, no debía Jesús de sufrir tales cosas si en todo era bueno. El problema es que esa era la voluntad de Dios. En cosas de minutos habló pensamientos de dos fuentes muy distintas y en sí no se dio cuenta.

Para trabajar en la renovación de nuestra mente TENEMOS QUE CERNIR LOS PENSAMIENTOS y bloquear las piedras de tropiezo de nuestra vida. Esto lo hacemos en 3 partes: Ser conscientes de los pensamientos, tomar cautivo todo pensamiento y aprender a discernir los pensamientos.

Primero tenemos que SER CONSCIENTES porque la verdad es que muchas cosas pasan por nuestra mente prácticamente sin que nos demos cuenta, simplemente llega un pensamiento y lo dejamos entrar como si fuera nuestro. Supongamos que llegas al cafecito con unas viejas amigas y una se te queda viendo un momento más que las otras. Piensas, No encajo aquí,  no hubiera venido, no soy como ellas- no tengo el cuerpo, la educación, la casa o algo. Y todo es porque desde mucho antes tienes una convicción de bajo autoestima, que no llegas a la medida de otros. Es una mentira pero tú la creíste y se hizo patrón en ti y ahora estás sufriendo. La realidad solo fue que la amiga pensó, Yo iba a traer esa misma blusa, que bueno que no lo hice. Es real, así nos pasa.

SER CONSCIENTE no es solo un acto de reflexión sino todo un estilo de vida. Debemos volvernos conscientes de los pensamientos, sentimientos, hábitos y motivos ocultos que nos están influenciando en nuestro pensamiento y conducta. Si no, estamos como en auto-piloto. Es tiempo de despertar, de darnos cuenta, y ser diligentes para ser sabios no necios (lee Efesios 5:14-17).

Segundo, debemos TOMAR CAUTIVO TODO PENSAMIENTO (2 Corintios 10:3-5), esto es, pararlo y examinarlo con la ayuda de Dios, sabiendo que todo pensamiento que no está de acuerdo con el conocimiento de Dios debe ser detenido. Es imposible que hagamos esto si no tenemos una relación personal con Dios mismo y con su palabra porque el conocimiento de Dios se experimenta no solo se sabe. Debemos examinar la naturaleza del pensamiento para discernir su fuente entre las voces principales que nos hablan o siembran pensamientos en nuestra mente: 1- Dios (Padre, Hijo y Espíritu Santo), 2- Satanás (y sus espíritus malignos) y 3- la voz de nuestro yo.

Tercero, debemos APRENDER A DISCERNIR. Aprendemos a distinguir entre lo correcto y lo incorrecto, el bien y el mal, lo que tiene sentido y lo que no lo tiene,  la verdad y el error a través de la obra del Espíritu Santo en nosotros. El Espíritu usa la Palabra de Dios para revelarnos y enseñarnos Su verdad (Juan 16:13). Hebreos 4:12 dice, Porque la palabra de Dios es viva y eficaz, y más cortante que toda espada de dos filos; y penetra hasta partir el alma y el espíritu, las coyunturas y los tuétanos, y discierne los pensamientos y las intenciones del corazón.

Para discernir, hay que examinar los pensamientos a la luz de Dios. Los pensamientos de Dios reflejarán como es él, estarán de acuerdo con su palabra y nos motivan a crecer y acercarnos a él aun cuando nos enfrentan. Por otro lado, los pensamientos del enemigo vienen a mentir y robarnos del plan de Dios, así como es él. Nos inflan o nos abatan, alejándonos de Dios, haciéndonos sentir o innecesaria o inalcanzable la cercanía y verdadero amor de Dios.

Luego están los pensamientos que vienen de la voz interna que todo el día nos habla, del yo. ¿Qué dices a ti mismo todo el día? Eso depende mucho de lo que te enseñaron tus padres que era lo bueno y lo malo, los costumbres sociales, las tradiciones religiosas y las vivencias adquiridas. Tus propios pensamientos pueden estar llenos de orgullo y desprecio basado en tu nombre, posición o logros. O pueden ser de constante auto-critica, señalándote que siempre te salen mal las cosas. Puede que te digas que eres el consentido de Dios o lo contrario, todos los días te dices, ni creas que puedes pedirle algo a Dios si no leiste tu devocional y oraste. Si todo el tiempo te regañas a ti misma por hablar demasiado, quizás siempre te decían, Calladita te ves mas bonita, hasta que lo creíste.

Dios mío, examíname y conoce mis pensamientos; ponme a prueba y reconoce todos mis pensamientos. Fíjate si tengo algún mal pensamiento y guíame por el sendero que me lleva hacia ti. (Salmo 139:23-24 PDT)

Pide al Espíritu Santo que te examine y te muestre los pensamientos que has creído y adoptado que no son conforme a Dios para que los deseches y los reemplaces con los pensamientos de Dios. Pasa tiempo en la presencia de Dios y serás transformado cada vez mas a su imagen y su pensamiento.

[Serie: Renueva tu mente, Transforma tu vida]

¿Listo para entrar a clases?

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Es el tiempo del año en que las tiendas ponen los cuadernos, mochilas y muchos materiales escolares cerca de la entrada para que empieces a llenar tu carrito con todo que necesitas tú o tus hijos para la próxima entrada a clases. Me trae muchos recuerdos de traer largas listas de útiles escolares – una para cada hijo- y las horas de buscar, tachar lo hallado y seguir buscando lo que no. Era un gran alivio poder decir finalmente, ya está todo. Ah y luego forrar una torre interminable de libros. Doy gracias a Dios por esos años con mis 6 preciosos hijos y también le doy gracias porque ahora esas responsabilidades les toca a ellos.

Es facil sentirse verdaderamente abrumados en estas fechas.

Es fácil sentirse verdaderamente abrumados en estas fechas. Ya sea que eres mamá con hijos bajo tu ala que están por entrar al nuevo año escolar o eres estudiante adulto sintiendo el estrés al acercarse el primer día de clases, ten ánimo- tú puedes hacer esto. Les invito a poner las cosas en perspectiva y no dejar que te pesen más de lo debido.

Primeramente, la escuela y la educación es parte de tu vida, no lo es todo. Es importante, sí. Puede ser muy útil, sí. Puede darte valiosas ventajas en la vida, sí. Puede enseñarte muchas cosas que usarás a través de la vida y/o tu carrera, sí (y otras cosas que nunca usarás). Pero aun así, no es lo mas importante y no debe acabar con tu paz.

Hay que poner tus prioridades en orden. Lo mas importante en la vida es tu relación con Dios, porque de él depende tu vida entera. Si le tomas en cuenta a él al iniciar cada día, El te dará la guía, la inteligencia y las fuerzas para lo que has de hacer. Proverbios 3:5-6 dice, Fíate de Jehová de todo tu corazón, Y no te apoyes en tu propia prudencia. Reconócelo en todos tus caminos, Y él enderezará tus veredas.

Segundo es familia. La buena relación en familia es más importante que la escuela. No dejes que la presión de trabajos y calificaciones te estrese de modo que no dejes que tus hijos descansen y tengan tiempo para reírse y divertirse como los niños que son. Recuerda siempre afirmarles tu amor incondicional, que no depende en nada de sus logros sino solo de ser tus hijos. Mamá, no te alteres ni viertas el brote de tus frustraciones sobre tu hijo. Igual joven, la presión de tus estudios no hace valido faltarles el respeto a tus padres o a tus hermanos. Hoy estás en la escuela y mañana ya no, pero la familia es hasta que la muerte nos separa. Cuídala. Efesios 6:1-4 Hijos, obedeced en el Señor a vuestros padres, porque esto es justo. Honra a tu padre y a tu madre, que es el primer mandamiento con promesa;3 para que te vaya bien, y seas de larga vida sobre la tierra. Y vosotros, padres, no provoquéis a ira a vuestros hijos, sino criadlos en disciplina y amonestación del Señor.

Aquí les va unos tips prácticos- consejos que pueden mejorar su experiencia en aprendizaje.

Estar en sus clases a tiempo y estar atento. Cuando se trata de ser un buen estudiante, creo que debemos aprender como aprender. En mi opinión, los mejores estudiantes no son los que sacan las mejores marcas sino los que quieren crecer y mejorarse y se aplican a ese esfuerzo. Es verdad que hay materias que no nos interesan y quizás nunca usemos esa información, pero son requeridas por la institución. Puede que estas sean las más difíciles para aplicarnos porque podemos sentirnos forzados en vez de motivados. Pero entonces hay que levantar la vista al cuadro grande, recordar con expectativa el resultado final adonde te diriges y tomarlo como si fuera ese hígado que te daba tu mamá, algo necesario para el momento.

Empieza cada día dando gracias a Dios por la vida y la oportunidad de estudiar; hay mucha gente que quisiera y no puede.

Administrar bien tu tiempo. Para administrar bien tu tiempo debes contemplar tres cosas. Uno, no te comprometas a mas de lo que puedes hacer. Aprende a decir “no” cuando es necesario por tus prioridades y salud. Dos, sé realista con el tiempo que apartas para trabajos y estudio. Piensa en el semestre pasado lo que te funcionó y lo que no. Reconoce si muchas veces no te alcanzó el tiempo que pensabas suficiente para estudiar. Agenda tiempo adecuado para las tareas y estudio. Tres, haz las cosas que debes hacer cuando las debes hacer. Anota tareas con fechas de entrega. Para proyectos, anota pasos y fechas para completarlos. Anota fechas de exámenes y repasa de antemano, si es posible una vez a la semana. No postergues.

Échale ganas. Mamá, no es tan importante “el debido nivel” o el 10 en cierto examen, más que pasar tiempo con tu hijo, escucharlo, comprender sus tiempos y expresar tu apoyo y amor incondicional. Mientras es importante para todo estudiante – chico y grande- aprender la disciplina, buenos hábitos de estudio y una meta de excelencia, su medida debe ser lo mejor que ellos pueden dar- sin compararlos con otros y mucho menos con sus hermanos. Jóven, no te compares con otros ni por su elección de estudios ni por su desempeño. Tú eres tú, solo dale lo mejor que puedes y deja lo demás a Dios. Salmo 25:1-2 A ti, oh Jehová, levantaré mi alma. Dios mío, en ti confío; No sea yo avergonzado, No se alegren de mí mis enemigos.

Mantente motivada. Empieza cada día con gratitud a Dios por la vida y la oportunidad de estudiar. Hay mucha gente que quisiera estudiar y no puede. Recuerda a menudo la meta y el premio al final, el poder realizar el trabajo por el cual te estás preparando. Sea en las clases o en cualquier área de la vida, si mantienes una actitud enseñable, que es respetuoso, humilde y atento, recibirás la ayuda de Dios. Pídale a Dios y verás que te ayudará.

Si a alguno de ustedes le falta sabiduría, pídasela a Dios, y él se la dará, pues Dios da a todos generosamente sin menospreciar a nadie. (Santiago 1:5)

Who are you?

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Daughter, sister, mother? Student, teacher, worker? Single, wife, widow? Loner, popular?

If I were to stand in front of you right now and ask you who you are, what would you say? We are so much more than our name and origin. While there are many roles we may have throughout our lives, it can be dangerous to wrap our identity around these. You may be a student, but thet will come to an end when you finish your studies. You may identify with your job, but what happens if that suddenly terminates? Maybe your primary identity is being a wife, and suddenly your husband leaves you or dies. Or your utmost joy has been mothering your child, but now he is off to college, the service or getting married, and you feel so lost. So, who are you now?

At some time in their life, everyone asks themself who they are and what they are doing in the world. Two of our most basic human needs are identity and purpose. God created us with the desire to know that our life means something. When we don’t feel that, a sense of hopelessness comes in bringing loneliness, depression and even suicidal thoughts to many.

When God told Moses to go to Egypt to free the Israelites, he asked God, Who am I to go to Pharoah and set the people free? God did not tell him, you can do this as a prince raised in Pharoah’s palace. Nor did he tell him, you are a great man set apart from birth. God’s answer was. I will be with you. In other words, it wasn’t about who Moses was as much as who he was identified with. Moses decided to believe God, and God did amazing things through him.

When John the Baptist was asked who he was, he replied, I am the voice of one crying n the wilderness. John was not looking for fame or a name for himself. He knew that his purpose was to prepare the way of the Lord, so men would follow after Jesus. His purpose was his identity.

One day, Jesus asked his disciples, Who do men say that I am? They answered, some say you are John the Baptist (he had been killed by then), others Elijah and others one of the prophets. Then Jesus asked, Who do you say that I am? Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. Peter could not know this on his own, he needed a revelation from God, as do each one of us so that we believe on him for salvation and eternal life.

I don’t know where you are in life- whether you are just stretching your wings and trying to figure out what in the world you are supposed to do with your life or caught up in the whirlwind of non-stop busyness raising a family. Maybe you are dreading that your nest is emptying or you have suffered a sudden undesired change in circumstances that has you lost. Whatever your situation, you are not alone and you do not have to figure it all out on your own. God thought of you, created a special you, and brought you into the world for this time in history for a purpose that only you can fulfill. (See Psalm 139 and Ephesians 2:10).

Don’t worry, it’s not about you, it’s about who you are with.

Sound like a lot of pressure? Don’t worry. It’s not about you, it’s about who you are with. The greatest identity a person can ever have is that found in John 1:12, But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name. God not only created you, he invites you to be adopted in his family, made his son or daughter, and promises to never, ever leave you. You just have to believe it, believe him at his word. Then as you relate daily with your loving Father, he will reveal to you who you are and what wondrous purposes he has planned for your life.

So, stop and take a deep breath. If you have never said – “Jesus, I believe you are the Son of God who came to earth, died for me, rose from the dead, reigns in heaven today and one day will come back for his own” – today is your day to know without a doubt who you are. Believe it in your heart and tell him as if he were sitting beside you, because he is. Welcome to my family, the family of God. You never have to fear being alone or purposeless in life, just look to him each day.

God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. Psalm 68:6

One of the greatest tactics of the enemy is to make you feel alone or undeserving of God’s love. Don’t let him get to you with his lies. God loves you always and forever. He has your present and your future in his hands and wants nothing more than to walk with you. He loves you unconditionally, just as you are. But he also loves you too much to leave you as you are, so choose to grow in all he has for you.

I think of two great songs that I recommend you listen to, asking God to reveal his love to you and give you understanding of his purposes. One is “No longer slaves” by Bethel Music. Part of it says, “From my mother’s womb You have chosen me, Love has called my name. I’ve been born again into Your family, your blood flows through my veins. I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God. You split the sea So I could walk right through it. My fears are drowned in perfect love. You rescued me So I could stand and say, I am a child of God”. Don’t let worry, stress and emotions get the best of you. Just say, I’m with him, and he’s got this.

The other song is “Good, good Father” by Chris Tomlin. Listen, let go of all pressure and stress and join me saying today “You’re a good, good Father, it’s who you are. And I’m loved by You, it’s who I am”.

Eres lo que comes

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¿Cuántas veces has oído la frase “tú eres lo que comes”? Lo primero que pensamos es en nuestro cuerpo y como lo alimentamos, ¿verdad? Si nos alimentamos sanamente, nuestro cuerpo recibe la necesaria nutrición y tendemos a una buena salud. Pero si comemos más comida chatarra, pronto se asomará de modo no grato en acné, celulitis, gastritis, etc. La salud total no se trata solamente del cuerpo sino de espíritu, alma y cuerpo. Nuestra salud mental, emocional y espiritual también depende de lo que ingerimos.

¿Estás consciente realmente de lo que te alimentas? Estamos rodeados de posible alimento todo el día. Todo cuanto oímos y vemos trae mensajes y pensamientos que vienen tocando a la puerta de nuestro corazón. En la mañana tienes un conflicto con tu marido y sus palabras de critica aun suenan en tu cabeza. Los anuncios que ves plasmado en la calle, gritan que la belleza y aceptación dependen de ser delgada y tener medidas imposibles sin cirugía. La canción que oyes en la gasolinera alimenta tu temor que tu hombre ya está viendo a otra. Pones las noticias para estar bombardeada de temor, inseguridad y desconfianza. Pones una serie familiar para distraerte un rato y te ríes con los hijos del papá bonachón pero medio inepto y la mamá que es la que sabe sin darte cuenta que empiezas a sentirte justificada por faltarle el respeto a tu marido. O te gusta ver las novelas, y yo creo que en casi cualquiera que te fijes, las parejas más protagonistas y felices son las que no son casados. ¿O no?

Dios nos dice en Proverbios 4:23, Sobre toda cosa guardada, guarda tu corazón; Porque de él mana la vida. Otras versiones dicen “con toda diligencia guarda tu corazón” y “vigila atentamente tu interior”. Hay muchas cosas que quizás guardamos en la vida, pero aquí, Dios dice que esta es la más importante de todas porque del corazón depende la salud de nuestra vida. Por lo tanto, debemos ser como una guardia que nunca falla en estar en la puerta cuidando que no entre nadie sin la debida autorización. Una multitud de pensamientos nos llega pero nosotros decidimos, conscientemente o inconscientemente, cuales vamos a recibir, cuales vamos a dejar entrar a nuestro corazón para afectar nuestra mente, emociones y creencias.

Dios no nos deja solos para tratar de adivinar como poder guardar el corazón, sino nos dice claramente en Filipenses 4:6-7. Por nada estéis afanosos, sino sean conocidas vuestras peticiones delante de Dios en toda oración y ruego, con acción de gracias. Y la paz de Dios, que sobrepasa todo entendimiento, guardará vuestros corazones y vuestros pensamientos en Cristo Jesús. Por lo demás, hermanos, todo lo que es verdadero, todo lo honesto, todo lo justo, todo lo puro, todo lo amable, todo lo que es de buen nombre; si hay virtud alguna, si algo digno de alabanza, en esto pensad.

Primero, en vez de preocuparte por cualquier cosa, llévalo a Dios pronto en oración, que significa conversación con él. Exprésale tu necesidad y pide su ayuda y dale gracias en fe creyendo que él hará.

Segundo, reposa dejando que la paz de Dios, que no es según circunstancia ni razón sino según el poder de Dios, guarde y gobierne tu corazón y pensamiento- tú tienes que decidir creer,confiar y reposar- entonces fluye el poder de Dios.

Y tercero, aplica este super filtro por el cual debemos pasar los pensamientos- si no pasa alguno de las pruebas, no lo dejes entrar. ¿Este pensamiento es verdadero? Sí, ok sigue. ¿Es honesto? Sí, ok sigue. ¿Es justo? Sí, ok. ¿Es puro? Si. ¿Es amable? Ijole, la verdad que no es amable. ALTO ALLÍ, NO PUEDE PASAR! NO PUEDE ENTRAR A MI CORAZÓN. Pide a Dios te ayude a entender su palabra. Establece guardia hoy en la puerta de tu mente y corazón y sé DILIGENTE en vigilar lo que recibas- como si tu vida de ello dependiera- PORQUE SI DEPENDE DE ELLO.

(Serie: Renueva tu mente, Transforma tu vida)

Blindsided by Blindspots

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I think one of Satan’s greatest strategies to keep people from growing in God’s purposes is to get us to focus on the faults in others. On one occasion, Jesus spoke a parable about a Pharisee and a tax collector that went up to the temple to pray. The Pharisee prayed thanking God that he wasn’t like other men with their offensive sins, and boasted quite highly of himself because of the openly religious life he lived. The tax collector on the other hand, hung his head low recognizing his sin and asking only for mercy. Jesus assured that the latter would be justified- forgiven and accepted by God- not the first, because “everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted”.

We hear that parable and think, What arrogance! Who did that guy think he was? How could he be so proud of his supposed godliness, while at the same time demeaning his fellow man. Well, I think it is all too easy to fall into the same behavior we just don’t realize it. Are we really much different when we look at corrupt politicians or hate crimes (or whatever really sets you off) and think we are pleasing God just because we are not like them? How about when my most common prayer is, Lord, change my husband so we can have a better marriage? I mean, I know I am not perfect but I don’t have near the issues that he does.

Jesus said, Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what  judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:1-5)

If Jesus himself said he came not into the world to condemn the world but that the world through him may be saved, where do we get the idea that we are to pass judgment as if we were the prosecuter, judge and jury. When we judge others, we are inviting judgment on ourselves, and you can be sure sooner or later it will come. Not only that, as long as I am focused on my husband’s shortcomings or my friend’s, I am not inviting the Lord to show me mine. The only measure I should be looking at is how I attain to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. And since I have a long way to go, I’d better concentrate on knowing Christ more and practicing his love, kindness and forgiveness to others even as God does toward me. (Eph. 4:13, 29-32)

James commands us to be doers of the word, because if we only hear the word of God and even agree with it BUT we don’t live according to that which we hear, we can be likened to a person that sees himself in a mirror and forgets what he saw. Like the guy that walks past a mirror and realizes he needs to comb down that cowlick, or a girl that sees she needs to wash a smudge off her cheek, but when they walk away they forgot what they saw and wonder why everyone looks at them funny.

The word of God is truth- absolute, non-negotiable truth- the same for you as for me as for every other person on the planet. So if the Bible says my gossiping or anger or unforgiveness is sin, it is no less sin than is lying, stealing or committing adultery. Of course, some sins do greater damage to relationships and have irreversible consequences, but God’s truth is sin is sin and the penalty for all sin is death and separation from God. But God loved us so much that while were yet sinners he sent Christ to die for our sins that we may be reconciled with him. Now, every time that I come to him and confess my sin (MY SIN, not that of someone else) He is faithful and just to forgive me my sin and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. That’s a great invitation and guarantee.

I remember one night driving home late and a car in front of me started swerving into the next lane and then back and then over and again. In my concern for safety, I got so focused on watching that car that I almost turned into a car that came up beside me. Thanks to God and my little blind-spot mirror I saw it in time. I think the worst distraction we face in this area is with those closest to us, because not only do we not ourselves grow in grace and knowledge, usually we become quite the stumbling block for our loved one as we point the finger at them and stand in God’s way trying to do the work of the Holy Spirit. Believe me, it just does not work but backfires every time. One of these days I’ll learn.

Don’t be blindsided by your blindspots. Let’s look closely at the Word of God and examine ourselves (thoughts, words, attitudes and actions) by it, not by what others are doing. Humble yourself today and ask God to work in you to will and do of his good pleasure (Phil. 2:13). And I assure you he will in his abundant grace and patience.

¿En Qué Estabas Pensando?

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¿Alguna vez has estado bien perdido en tu pensamiento cuando alguien te interrumpe y te pregunta, “En qué estabas pensando”? Tal vez estabas en un recuerdo lejano o imaginándote en ese auto nuevo que te gustaría o salivando con unos deliciosos tacos o soñando con unas horas fuera, lejos de la casa y los niños. Eso es si tuvieras una cara feliz. Si no, tal vez estaba pensando en un montón de deudas o simplemente que nunca llegas al plan de pintar la sala. Puedes pensar en muchas cosas en un sueño fugaz. Pero, ¿qué pasa con tu vida cotidiana de pensamiento?

Pensar es algo que todos hacemos. Bueno, hay personas que parecen hacer y decir mucho sin pensar primero. (¡No le señales a nadie!) Pero la realidad es que todos pensamos mucho, consciente, inconsciente y subconscientemente. Puedes pensar conscientemente, tengo que levantarme a las 7:00 para llegar al trabajo o clase a tiempo. Puede pensar inconscientemente, cuando subo a mi coche, me llevará a donde quiero ir. Y puedes pensar subconscientemente, probablemente llegaré tarde como de costumbre. Todo pasó por tu mente.

Los pensamientos no son todos iguales en naturaleza o efecto. Hay pensamientos fugaces o de paso. Estas son oportunidades para bien o para mal. Se crean invenciones, nacen organizaciones y se transforman vidas, porque se aprovechó un momento de inspiración. Pero de la misma manera, las familias son destruidas, los fraudes se diseñan y los crímenes más terribles los cometen a veces personas que siguen un pensamiento repentino y espontáneo.

Los patrones de pensamiento son como andar en bicicleta por caminos bien transitados. Es fácil caer en el surco y seguirlo, pero no tan fácil salir.

Hay pensamientos que caen en patrones en nuestra mente. Son como andar en bicicleta por caminos bien transitados. Es fácil entrar en el surco y seguirlo, pero no tan fácil salir. Un patrón comienza cuando tienes un pensamiento en reacción a una experiencia y decides que el pensamiento es para ti, por supuesto, probablemente de manera muy inconsciente. Pero está alojado en tu subconsciente. Entonces, cuando tienes una experiencia similar, el pensamiento sale a la superficie y, a menos que lo detengas diciendo que no es así, afirmas que es así y reaccionas de la misma manera que antes. Y así se repite, cada vez que haces lo mismo, el camino se marca un poco más y se establece un patrón que ni te das cuenta de estarlo siguiendo. Pero lo haces.

Y aun otro tipo de pensamiento es la meditación. Cuando digo meditación, no estoy hablando de yoga o de entrar en trance ni nada por el estilo. Estoy hablando de cuando un pensamiento te viene a la mente y le das vueltas y vueltas en tu mente por un rato. Y luego tal vez te concentres en otra cosa, pero después de un tiempo, te encuentras pensando en ello una y otra vez. Como cuando tu cónyuge te dejó con un mal sabor en la boca por la mañana, y cuando sale por la puerta estás pensando: ¿cómo pudo haberme dicho eso? Estás molesto y pensando en todas las razones por las que él estaba tan equivocado, y tú tienes la razón en sentirte como lo haces. Te ocupas con el trabajo, los niños o la casa y, por lo tanto, te distraes, pero al rato cuando doblas la ropa y llegas a los calcetines de tu cónyuge, empiezas a pensar de nuevo en tu ofensa. Luego, andas a la carrera con los pendientes, la preparación de la cena y la tarea de los hijos, pero en el momento en que ves a tu esposo entrar, o estás furiosa o esperando una disculpa. Pero nueve de cada diez veces, entra con solo un beso en la mejilla, totalmente ajeno a que algo anda mal. ¿Verdadero o falso?

La meditación se ha comparado con una vaca rumiando. Para aquellos de ustedes que no estén familiarizados con el término, permítanme explicarles. Una vaca toma hierba, la mastica durante un rato y se la traga. Pero lo interesante es que las vacas tienen dos estómagos y su comida pasa por ambos para una digestión completa. Entonces, la hierba masticada baja al primer estómago y comienza a descomponerse, pero después de un tiempo, vuelve a subir a la boca en una forma todavía gruesa, que es el bolo alimenticio, que la vaca mastica de nuevo antes de enviarlo al segundo estómago para terminar la digestión. Suena bastante desagradable por decir lo menos, ¿no? Pero, ¿cuántos de tus pensamientos “vuelves a masticar” una y otra vez?

No toda la meditación es mala. Básicamente, hay dos tipos de meditación. La forma negativa da muchas vueltas a los asuntos mientras la positiva te edifica. La meditación positiva aligera tu carga y te ayuda a concentrarte en crecer y brillar, pero la negativa es como una tormenta en ciernes. Aquellos que dejan salir el vapor a menudo pueden simplemente crear lluvias dispersas, pero otros lo retienen hasta que un tornado F5 estalla con destrucción masiva. ¿Tu meditación crea más tornados o arcoíris?

Cuando las palabras parecen salirse por sí solas, es probable que se deba a que tiene una gran cantidad de pensamientos al respecto.

Entonces, así está el asunto. Tus pensamientos te llevan al éxito o al fracaso. Jesús dijo en Lucas 6:45, de la abundancia del corazón habla la boca. Entonces, cuando las palabras parecen salirse por sí solas, probablemente sea porque tienes una gran cantidad de pensamientos al respecto. La Biblia dice que tal como un hombre piensa en su corazón, así es él. Los pensamientos producen actitudes, palabras y acciones. Con más pensamiento, estos producen hábitos y patrones, y con el tiempo, su carácter y estilo de vida. Nuestra tendencia es culpar a los demás por muchos de nuestros problemas y nuestro sufrimiento diario, cuando en realidad, generalmente somos nuestro peor enemigo, y más de lo que nos damos cuenta o queremos admitir es auto-infligido por nuestra propia vida de pensamiento. Pero no tiene por qué ser así.

En el capítulo ciento treinta y nueve, el salmista describe cuán amorosamente Dios nos creó a ti y a mí en el vientre de nuestra madre con cuidado de cada detalle, y preparó todos nuestros días aquí en la tierra; está todo escrito. Dice: ¡Cuán preciosos me son, oh Dios, tus pensamientos! ¡Cuán grande es la suma de ellos! Si los enumerara, serían más que la arena. Despierto, y aún estoy contigo. (v.17-18) ¡Sí, leíste bien! Dios piensa en ti todo el tiempo y siempre está cerca esperando tu llamada.

Tal vez hayas pensado que Dios te acecha, o al menos, a él realmente no le importas dada la forma en que has vivido. Pero nada podría estar más lejos de la verdad. Él dice: Porque yo sé los pensamientos que tengo de ustedes, dice el Señor, pensamientos de paz y no de mal, para darte un futuro y una esperanza (Jeremías 29:11).

Dios no quiere que vivas con ansiedad, miedo o desesperación, sino más bien en paz y esperanza. ¿Cómo? Él prosigue: Entonces me invocarán. Vendrán y orarán a mí, y yo los escucharé.  Me buscarán y me hallarán, porque me buscarán con todo su corazón.  Me dejaré hallar de ustedes, dice el SEÑOR, y los restauraré de su cautividad. (v.12-14)

Estés donde estés, vuélvete a Dios hoy, entrégale tu corazón y dolor a él, pídele perdón por hacer las cosas a tu manera, dale tu vida y pídele que te dé una nueva vida de acuerdo con sus pensamientos en lugar de los tuyos. ¿Y sabes qué? ¡LO HARÁ!

Sígueme con mi próxima serie: Renueva tu mente, transforma tu vida, basada en Romanos 12: 2 que dice: No se conformen a este mundo; más bien, transfórmense por la renovación de su entendimiento de modo que comprueben cuál sea la voluntad de Dios, buena, agradable y perfecta. Cuando comiences a reemplazar tus pensamientos con los de Dios, comenzarás a mirar la vida de una perspectiva completamente nueva. Tú y los que te rodean se sorprenderán de tu cambio (transformación) y tu vida llena de propósito. ¡No esperes más, comienza hoy!

A Penny for your Thoughts

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What are you thinking about these days?

Has someone ever seen you daydreaming and said, “A penny for your thoughts”. Maybe you were in a faraway memory or picturing yourself in that new car you would like or salivating over some delicious tacos or dreaming of a few hours out, away from the house and kids. That’s if you had a happy face. If not, maybe you were thinking about a pile of bills or about just never getting to painting the living room. You can think of a lot of things in a fleeting daydream. But what about your regular, daily thought life?

Thinking is something we all do. Well, there are those people that seem to do and say an awful lot without thinking first. (No pointing fingers!) But the reality is, we all think a lot- consciously, unconsciously and sub-consciously. You may consciously think, I need to get up at 7:00 to get to work or class on time. You may unconsciously think, when I get in my car, it will get me where I want to go. And you may sub-consciously think, I’ll probably be late as usual. It all went through your mind.

Thoughts are not all alike in nature or effect. There are fleeting or “fly by” thoughts. These are opportunities for good or for bad. Inventions are created, organizations are born, and lives are transformed, because a moment’s inspiration was seized. But likewise, families are destroyed, frauds engineered, and the most terrible crimes committed sometimes by people following a sudden spontaneous thought.

Thought patterns are like riding a bike on well-beaten paths. It’s easy to get into the groove and go along with it but not so easy to get out.

Some thoughts fall into patterns in our mind. These are like riding a bike on well-beaten paths. It’s easy to get into the groove and go along with it but not so easy to get out. A pattern begins when you have a thought in reaction to an experience and decide that the thought is for you, of course, probably very unconsciously. But it is lodged in your sub-conscious. So, when you have a similar experience, the thought pops to the surface, and unless you stop the thought by saying it isn’t so, you affirm it to be so and react the same way as before. And so it goes, every time you do the same, the path is beaten down a little more and a pattern established that you hardly realize you are following. But you are.

Then there is meditation. When I say meditation, I am not talking about yoga or going into a trance or anything like that. I am talking about when a thought comes to mind and you turn it over and over in your mind for awhile. And then maybe you get focused on something else, but after awhile, you find yourself thinking on it again and again. Like when your spouse left you on a sour note in the morning, and as he goes out the door you are thinking- how could he have said that to me? You are upset and thinking of all the reasons why he was so wrong, and you are right to feel as you do. You get busy with work, the children or the house and so are distracted, but as you fold the clothes and get to your spouse’s socks, you start thinking again about your offense. Then errands, dinner prep, and homework have you running, but the minute you see your husband come in, you’re either seething or expecting an apology. But nine times out of ten, he just comes in with a peck on the cheek, totally oblivious that anything is wrong. True or false?

Meditation has been likened to a cow chewing her cud. For those of you not familiar with the term, let me explain. A cow takes in grass, chews on it for awhile, and swallows it. But the interesting thing is that cows have two stomachs, and their food goes through both for full digestion. So chewed grass goes down into the first stomach and begins to be broken down, but after awhile, it comes back up into the mouth in a yet coarse form, which is the cud, that the cow chews on again before sending it to the second stomach from which it works its way out. Sounds rather unpleasant to say the least, doesn’t it? But how many of your thoughts do you rehash time after time?

Not all meditation is bad. Basically there are two kinds of meditation. The negative form is brooding and the positive building. The latter lightens your load and helps you focus on growing and glowing. The first is like a storm in the making. Those that let the steam out often may just create scattered showers, but others hold it in until a F5 tornado bursts out with mass destruction. Does your meditation create more twisters or rainbows?

When words seem to slip out of their own accord, it’s probably because you have quite a stockhold of thoughts on the matter.

So, here’s the deal. Your thoughts pretty much make or break you. Jesus said in Luke 6:45, it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks. So, when words seem to slip out of their own accord, it’s probably because you have quite a stockhold of thoughts on the matter. The Bible says, as a man thinks in his heart so is he. Thoughts produce attitudes, words and actions. With more thinking, these produce habits and patterns, and over time, your character and lifestyle. Our tendency is to blame others for so many of our problems and our daily suffering, when in reality, we are usually our own worst enemy, and more than we realize or want to admit is self-inflicted by our own thought life. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

In chapter one thirty nine, the psalmist describes how lovingly God created you and me in our mother’s womb with care to every detail and prepared all of our days here on the earth; it’s all written. He says, How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You. (v.17-18) Yes, you read right! God thinks about you all the time and is always close by awaiting your call.

Maybe you have thought God was out to get you, or at least, he really didn’t care about you given the way you have lived. But nothing could be farther from the truth. He says, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11)

God does not want you to live in anxiety, fear or despair, but rather in peace and hope. How? He goes on, Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. and you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity. (v.12-14)

Wherever you are, turn to God today, pour out your heart and hurt to hIm, ask him forgiveness for doing things your way, give him your life, and ask him to give you new life according to his thoughts in place of yours. And you know what? HE WILL!

Follow me with the upcoming series: Renew your Mind, Transform your Life, based on Romans 12:2 which says, And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. When you begin to replace your thoughts with God’s, your understanding of life will begin to take on a whole new perspective. You and those around you will be amazed at your extreme makeover (transformation) and purpose filled life. Don’t wait, start today!

When all else fails…

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There is a saying, When all else fails, go to God in prayer. I think a lot of people live by that motto, whether consciously or unconsciously, going through life working things out on their own until they get to what seems like an impassible bump in the road. Or maybe it’s more like a brick wall. You get a big bill you don’t have the money to pay. You get a diagnosis that sounds hopeless. Your marriage is failing. Your child moves out, and you just can’t handle the empty nest. You’re being laid off, or your business is broke. Or six months on lockdown has you at the end of your rope. Then you pray to God something like Psalm 141:1, “O, Lord, I cry out to you, ‘Come quickly.’ Open your ears to me when I cry out to you.”

Prayer is not about bringing information to God; it’s about getting divine direction. Not that God doesn’t want you to share with Him. On the contrary, He does. If you have put your faith in Him, He is your loving Father.

Prayer is not about bringing information to God, it’s about getting divine direction

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, He told them that when they prayed, they should pray as He did. He went on to give them a guide prayer. It wasn’t just words to be repeated, but an illustrated path for speaking with the Father. And who could be better equipped than Jesus to teach us this, since He clearly lived communing with the Father and revealing Him to the world.

As a loving Father, God always has His arms open wide to embrace you and a ready ear. He loves for you to tell Him about your day or week or year. The Father smiles over you when you are happy, blessed and grateful and has compassion on you when you are sad. Like a father who draws his little girl into his lap, the Father wants you to share your heart with Him.

James 4:8 says, Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. This is a promise, but not just a promise. It’s a beautiful declaration that reveals God’s very nature. When you come to Him, He will not reject you or ignore you but rather welcomes you.

If you think you have to come to Him and tell Him your needs in order for Him to take care of you and them, I assure you, you are wrong. He knows all about it way before you tell it to Him. Jesus said in Matthew 5 that you need not worry, because your Father in heaven already knows of all your need for food, clothing, shelter and life in general. And Psalm 139 says that even before the words are on your tongue, He knows them.

So bringing our needs to God is definitely not for Him. He’s not too busy to watch over you. There are no grounds for saying he doesn’t care that you are really struggling to make ends meet. He’s not unaware of your needs and the desires of your heart. He sees into the depth of your heart where you feel so inadequate. He’s not oblivious when you feel hurt or lonely or your heart is breaking over the absence of a loved one. Believe me, He knows, and He cares!

Why do we come to God in prayer? Why tell Him about our needs? Years ago, my uncle worked as a troubleshooter for a chain of convenience stores. His job was to go into a place, find the deficiencies, get to the causes, and bring solutions to the table. Maybe you have seen a program about a famous cook as a troubleshooter to rescue family businesses. Many times he says things people do not WANT to hear but NEED to hear, and if they listen and adhere to his advice, their situation radically turns around. God has a lot more grace in speaking to us, but hey, we need to listen.

Our heavenly Father is the ultimate Troubleshooter, and He has all of the answers.

Our heavenly Father is the ultimate Troubleshooter, and He has all of the answers. When I come to him with my prayers, I should come expecting answers. Sure, there are times when what we really need is a heart to heart and to cry on His shoulder. And that’s okay, He’s there for us. But. But. (I remember learning that when Jesus would repeat something, like “verily, verily” we should pay attention to what He is emphasizing.) But, then it’s time to sit up, pick up pen and paper, and listen to God’s answer.

Are you hurting today? Bring your pain, pour out your heart, and then receive God’s healing touch. Read Psalm 103 and Isaiah 61:1-3. Are you struggling to make ends meet? Read Matthew 6:25-34. Are you feeling lonely? Hear his heart for you. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. (Psalm 68:5-6)

The first step in prayer is knowing where to turn.

Turn to God. Draw near to your heavenly Father confidently, knowing He hears you and pray, O Lord, I cry out to you, “Come quickly.” Open your ears to me when I cry out to you.

Second, remember you are praying to the Creator of the universe, the Allpowerful and Holy One, and focus on Him and His greatness not on your problems. When you do this, not only is it pleasant to His ears, like a Father whose child looks upon Him with unabashed admiration. But furthermore, you are changed, as you shift your gaze from yourself to praise Him. Things take on a new perspective, as your anxiety lessens and your faith grows. David continued, Let my prayer be accepted as sweet-smelling incense in your presence. Let the lifting up of my hands in prayer be accepted as an evening sacrifice.

O Lord, set a guard at my mouth. Keep watch over the door of my lips.

Finally, determine to not say things you shouldn’t. Don’t speak negatives. Don’t murmer and complain. Don’t criticize. Don’t prophecy a gloomy future. Instead choose praise, promises and being in the presence of the Allmighty. O Lord, set a guard at my mouth. Keep watch over the door of my lips. (Psalm 141:1-3) (More on this subject in upcoming article, What you say is what you get.)

Make prayer your first resort today, not the last “when all else fails”. Put yourself in God’s capable hands and follow His direction, and be amazed at what He does. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

Mothering well: It’s not about me

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I love being a mom, but I love my kids more. You may be thinking, huh? What do you mean? Are these in competition? Well, they may be.

I was blessed to grow up in a loving home with mom and dad, a sister and two brothers. Then there were the years that my family took in foster children, several of them living with us for over two years, so for awhile we were 8 kids. And still any given day, there may have been one, two or three more for an overnight emergency that sometimes turned into a few days. My mom was undaunted by the task, holding her peace enough even to occasionally take a friend’s kids for the day, so her friend could “de-stress” from her two. Ha! I thought that was funny at the time, but I know now that I had a super mom as my role model, and am grateful for her. Since we all had our chores, and the older helped take care of the younger, it was just natural to be a popular babysitter at a young age. So by the time I got married at twenty, I was primed for motherhood.

I’ll never forget the birth of my first daughter and the wonder of her coming into the world. As she popped out, after many hours of painful labor I may add, the doctor turned to my husband and said, “Congratulations! They’re going to call you father-in-law!” That was his way of saying, it’s a girl. We laughed and cried and marveled at God’s wonderful design. But although we laughed, my husband scarcely had her in his arms when he somberly said, “Oh dear, now I understand your father completely.” What did he mean? The moment he laid eyes on our baby girl, he fell in love with her, and thought of all he would do to care for and protect her. Then he thought of the day some young man would come asking for her hand, and he would not want to let her go. Well, that day has come and gone, and though his tears may have dampened the pillow the first night she would no longer come “home”, it is our great joy to see her growing her own family. Now expecting her second child, my daughter recently said, I was born to be a mother.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about raising children and letting them go. It may be one of the hardest things a mom does. Usually, but not always, moms tend to cling while dads tend to thrust. I mean, think about someone you do life with and how they play with their toddler. Dad will be throwing him in the air and catching him, while mom is shrieking, Be careful! Mom will be holding her in the pool and telling her to kick, while dad will throw her in and see her swim. There are challenges as children grow, such as teaching your child to walk, ride a bike, and drive a car, each meaning you must let go a little more than the last time, until the big one comes.

Letting go may be one of the hardest things a mom does.

Mom, I’m 18 and ready to move out on my own. Mom, I’m so excited about my choice for college (and it’s 1,000 miles away). Mom, he asked me and we’re getting married this year. Mom, I want to serve my country and go into the service. Face it, we all know it’s coming, but somehow we’re just not ready for the way it hits us. Why is this?

Being a mom around the clock, 24/7, for over 900 weeks, is not to be taken lightly! From stinky diapers to smelly gym clothes. From teething to term papers. From baby food to homemade faves. From comforting skinned knees to broken hearts. From setting limits to letting suffer consequences. Mom is caretaker, teacher, cook, nurse, taxi driver, counselor, homemaker, and basically just about whatever her child needs at the moment. And as tired as she may be and juggle what she may, she wouldn’t trade it for the world. Being mom is probably your number one most favorite role.

It’s no wonder so many moms feel the air has been knocked out of them when their child leaves home. Suddenly, you can’t make him breakfast or iron her favorite dress. You can’t tousle her hair or look in on him in bed. You don’t know how their day went and can’t rescue them from the world. What’s a mom to do?

I think one of the biggest factors is perspective. I love being a mom, but I love my kids more. Mothering is not about me. It’s about the men and women God gave me to raise. Because just as a single apple seed has the potential of a fruit laden apple tree, so each child we receive into this world has the potential for a fruitful, purpose-driven life.

Mothering is not about me. It’s about the men and women God gave me to raise.

Every child born into this world is a gift from God on loan. And if God has seen fit to send me one (or six in my case), it’s not because I am perfect. My mom told me when I started that God gives a portion of grace with each child, so I do believe I have received a lot of grace. God is trusting me to love them unconditionally (1 Corinthians 13), as an example of his love. He gives me wisdom to train them while under my roof in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6), so when they go out, they are prepared to make the right decisions on their own.

I will always be a mom. Three of my children are now married, and their spouse and children are their priority. That’s natural, right and healthy. I don’t need to feel displaced or loved less. It’s not a competition. Please do not compete with your child’s spouse, consciously or unconsciously. Nobody wins, but everybody loses in division. Be a mom that patiently and prayerfully adds life and love to relationships. Then I have three younger… I love having two at home in school. And one is just finishing boot camp, which has been a whole new challenge in itself, where mothering is pretty fully restricted. However, I found that what he valued most through the difficult time of separation and denial of self-will was a flow of letters giving love, reassurance, encouragement and constant reminders of the Word of God to anchor him through thick and thin.

In the end, I believe mothering is most about doing everything I can, with the grace of God, to prepare and send the young men and women under my care out on the adventure of walking out their God given destiny with a firm foundation of unconditional love, faith in God, sure identity, love and compassion for others, and an eternal perspective. I will forever be grateful to God for the joy and privilege to be called “mom”. So relax, enjoy every season, cheer your children on, pray always, give thanks to God for every blessing and even the trials, and rejoice with each one in every experience on their journey.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. (Ps.127:3-5)